CAN U BE IN LOVE WITH 2 THINGS, WITH THE SAME INTENSITY??? I have been asking myself this for sometime now. I am not just talking about people here. I am also talking about the choices, the vices, the passion, the dream, the aspirations, the values, the systems. And above all I am talking about myself being in love with two.
I can and I am in love with two (just realized though) all the time, in all walks of life. Here’s the HOW of it.
There is this child in me -young, vibrant, confused, erring, laughing- that easily connects to every child around at their level and, at the same time, there is this focused and disciplined self, reaching out for the like minded, head above the shoulders, intelligent, intellectual, aware, learned individuals. My connect with such crowd could be possible because of my voracious appetite to learn and learn and learn more. And who could be a better teacher than a child who always teaches you to forget and the ‘grey in experience’ who teaches you to forgive.There is one drawback here though – I hardly have friends in my age group. Probably because I feel I am neither giving nor receiving anything. I can’t stay stagnant.
There’s a lonely, quiet, secluded, carefully guarded, enigmatic self of mine that I would never want to show and then there is this outrageously extrovert other half – some call it ‘Bindaas’- which surprises me too many a times. May be because I fear none else but myself.
There is a cut throat, shrewd, opportunist business woman in me who also is diligent and dutiful homemaker. Now could be because of my totally down to earth and middle class upbringing coupled with the higher education I pursued.
Also there is this high aspiration, larger than life, designer lifestyle, beyond budget spender (all credits to my hubby Prashant for spoiling me rotten) living besides a philanthropist who strongly believe in ‘give what is right and not what is left‘ (I still need truck loads of gold biscuits to keep a lot and give away some).
I am tech junkie with an eye for strategy, and have just started strumming Guitar (credit my genes as my dad used to play and my teachers Soordas Powale who initiated the interest and Chandresh Kudwa who kept it going) while I sing along to unwind. Both of them give me the same high emotionally.
There is this fitness freak in me (current credits for keeping me so motivated goes to my trainer Umesh at Elixir) which keeps me active and agile and also this La-Z-boy Recliner Lover, Anytime-PaniPuri Time believer who doesn’t mind munching any and everything at any hour in the day/night.
I also have this typical Harmonium with Guitar symphonies making rounds on my mind, a Prabha Atre Jamming with Roxette kinda feel in my heart all the time (probably thats why I love MTV coke studio so much).
I do have the grace of a Madhuri Dixit (who I think dances more with her eyes and smile, of course her body too is so supple), the cheap jahtka matkas of a Munni, the dirty dancing Swayze moves and the Akshay Kumar’s trademark footwork. I have not dabbled with Ballroom dance yet but I know I will be damn good at it. And what more could have I asked for. I found Tai – grace personified Smt.Nutan Patwardhan of Avartan School of Kathak. She has held my hand like that of a baby’s and is the guiding force behind this graceful dance-form. Strict disciplinarian she is and lays great emphasis on the sophistication of the form in in every way be it nazar or nazakat or kalaai or bhaav. She herself is extremely hardworking and energetic and makes me look forward to meeting her almost everyday.
While there is a fanatic Hindu/Tambram/Indian in me, at the same time I have a liberal open-to-all-cultures/languages/traditions/customs attitude too. That maybe because I am a Tambram, born in UP, married to a Paranjape/Jain hybrid, settled in Mumbai – a city which welcomes and breeds people from so many regions with open arms.In fact I keep my Navarathri golu perfectly Tambram style and also dance away to glory at Mata ki Chowki at friends’ place.
While thinking about it more deeply and trying to justify the ‘WHY‘ of my ‘two‘ loves, I guess each of them has created a certain void, which the other one fulfills to the core. I don’t think I can do without either of them. They are both the life and blood in me. One grounds me and the other releases me, one holds me closer in fear and the other thrills me down the hill with a Bungee fall, one keeps me warm with cuddles and hugs and the other that drenches and quenches my thirst with cold showers, one has never bound me and one that has never left me. There are these starkly opposite selves of mine which have luckily found its loves and fulfillment. And I am totally, madly, deeply in love with them because it is more of spiritual connect than anything else.
Sorry for letting u all down here folks – I have just one Gharwala and I bet you all thought I will be talking of the ‘Baharwala’.
PS: Special mention of my Brother In Law Badrinath of Apple Tree for clicking this amazing picture specially for my post..Thank u so very much….