Read my new post on http://technojayaa.wordpress.com/2011/03/19/until-death-do-us-apart-prashant/
Monthly Archives: March 2011
From the time we first met, till date, we both have grown and matured in our relationship. Everybody does. So my story is no different from any of those who are reading or have been through the grind together in the conjugal bond. But rarely have I ever really credited, thanked, accepted, appreciated all of his goodness. Probably or rather mostly it was blaming, accusing, cribbing, complaining, crying over the fact that you never understood.
Initially it was puppy love with mushy letters and chocolates and movies and dinners and all those things one does when they fall in love. Today as I reflect back, you are the one who has always stood by me in thick and thin. From the time I entered into your ‘big fat Indian family’ with grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles and cousins and nieces and nephews to now with our 3 daughters ( all others being still around) you have been the pillar of my strength. As a newly wed I had butterflies in my stomach, always thinking whether what I was doing was fine or not. But you always were not so bothered about all those little things about life. For you it was the larger picture that mattered the most and as you said I was ‘the perfect fit’. (Just a clarification here that I was good at the smaller things too).
I still remember that the first time I had to tell my Father about you, I wrote to him ‘He is just like you. Very encouraging of my career and ambitions in life and a gentleman to a T’. You have been a friend, philosopher and guide in it’s true sense. From the time of marriage till now, you have always understood that my career was very demanding and kids at home also being small demanded a lot of attention and hence shouldered the responsibility just as I expected (read demanded).
You must be wondering what is so unique about this. Everybody does. If they really want to keep trouble at bay from the ‘wifey’ front. The uniqueness is I am writing about it and acknowledging the fact that all men are not MCPs.
What has made me write about all this is the fact that I am having high levels of stress due to high work pressure and ‘school vacations’. Every time he gets back home he sees that I am super exhausted and have crossed all limits of yelling and shouting and scolding and bashing up and so have the kids (crossed all limits of crying and apologizing and making up stories and the works) . Even after such a long and tiring day you put up a smile and steer us clear out of the troubled waters. I want you to not ‘give up on me’ and stay motivated to bear me for few more months. As predicted by the Mayan prophecy and the likes, the end of the world is just around the corner. Until Death Do Us Apart. (Wicked Laugh…HEE HEE HEE HEE….with echo effect)
While I was leaving for the club 3 days back with my girls one of them sneezed and my husband called out from behind, both being the signs of ‘apshagun’ – bad omen as per Indian sensibilities but signs for me that something is going to go bad. I prayed all the way that let it not be on my kids and whatever happens to me be really gentle. Went in for a quick shower just before my swim and as I stepped out I zoomed straight on my back. “Mamma” cried my girls. “Are you alright?” asked one. Luckily I could stand back. Thank god I read the sign and prayed all the way.
My mom always says ‘Que Sera Sera-Whatever will be will be’. But your prayers will reduce the intensity of the bad and increase that of the good.
The question here is, was this Tsunami in Japan, a country with 64% aging population , hit by the most powerful earthquake (8.9-magnitude) with epicenter of Friday’s main quake located off Miyagi Prefecture, about 230 miles (370 kilometers) northeast of Tokyo, destined to be. The death toll is expected to be over 10,000 with 2000 found on two shores in Miyagi Prefecture.
Even a little prayer from each one of us would add up to heightened positive vibrations to a country which is reeling over this catastrophe.Lets tweet with #prayforjapan and show our solidarity in this hour of despair. I just did. (http://twitter.com/technojaya)
The Global Centenary Year for the Women’s Day is celebrated today (the first event being celebrated in the year 1911 on March 19 and not on 8th March by Clara Zetkin ) and I am urged to share something that has been doing rounds in my mind for some time.
Couple of days back one of my FB connection had posted a link . She pointed out that the report suggests that part of the problem is the fact that women tend to pursue the lowest-paying professional careers, notably teaching. Perhaps part of the answer is just to increase compensation for people who devote their careers to education.
A friend of her’s said “the tax code does not favor children or stay-at-home parents. Parenting is an invaluable service to society. Perhaps I should literally pay my wife to take care of my kids, then we could write my house off as a business (day care center), as well as the car, and my wife could start a self-employed based SEP for retirement. I should also pay her for cleaning and cooking… same business rules.
Is it really any different than if I could afford a cook, daycare and chauffeur?”
Although these are the cases based from the west, I feel, this is not just the case with American women. We too struggle and juggle with career,home, aspirations, responsibilities a lot back here in India. Luckily now at least we have support coming from the work front in metros like where the employers turn a blind eye when we have no backups and carry kids to work. Regarding compensation and benefits,’miles to go.
Smaller cities though still has the concept of well-knit families and cushion the gaps but in larger metros everyone has and needs an independent life and hence the exponential rise in the nuclear families. At least west has organized creches for kids, which is still at a nascent stage so our lives are worse like mine. So although we have stepped out of the house and added on to our JD but ‘the invaluable service of Parenting’ is still largely handled by us. That could also be because men are not genetically capable to handle emotional stress as finely as women. I think we all should breed more men and train them to handle household and kids and parenting and cooking and cleaning and all other juggling that we do. Probably a ‘genetic mutation’ would help alter the scenario.
Happy Women’s Day girls!!!